The One With The Famous Physicist
by Anthony Bruce Williams
Summary: Sheldon Cooper and Chandler Bing's paths cross in Chicago.


**The One With The Famous Physicist **

"517," Sheldon Cooper announced to himself stopping before the hotel room.

Chandler Bing glanced up from tying his shoes at the first rap on his door. Before any response could register, he heard two more rapid raps.

"Doctor Alberti."

Great, thought Chandler, wrong room. He heard the off-course visitor knock sharply three more times calling for the nowhere to be found in his room Dr. Alberti. Another three raps and another call immediately followed.

His shoes tied, Chandler walked over and opened the door. A lean man, slightly taller than himself, dressed in a black on black suit stood in the hallway.

Sheldon stared at the slightly pudgy man with salt and pepper hair before him. "You're not Dr. Alberti," he declared.

"I could be a master of disguise," Chandler breezily replied.

Sheldon arched an eyebrow. "You would have to be as Dr. Alberti is a five-foot-tall Spanish woman."

"Binding the breasts isn't so bad but stretching the torso is murder," Chandler deadpanned.

A brief odd chuckle escaped Sheldon. "Absurdist humor."

"I'm not this Dr. Alberti, obviously," Chandler said. "Is there a medical emergency?"

Sheldon shook his head. "She is a physicist like myself not a medical doctor, but I was told that this was her room."

Chandler shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Champ. I've been here since yesterday and I am happily married so there hasn't been anyone else in this room, Spanish or otherwise. Do you have a date with her?"

"No, I'm married," Sheldon immediately replied sounding shocked at the idea. "It's that I am to travel with her to a preconference gathering."

"So, why aren't you going to this conference with your wife?" he immediately asked.

Sheldon frowned at the rather impertinent question, but he answered, nonetheless. "My wife could not come to Chicago. Her pregnancy is too far advanced to allow her to fly from Los Angeles and she did not want to take the train, but she insisted that I address the seminar without her."

"Congratulations," Chandler said. "On the baby, not the wife couldn't travel thing. How many will this make for you?"

"Our first," he replied simply.

"We have three," said Chandler. "Twins, Jack and Erica and a very, very, unexpected son, Charles four years ago. He was a complete surprise especially at our age. Also, I had a miniscule chance of fathering a child while my wife had a similarly slim chance of carrying a baby to term which is why we adopted the twins."

I didn't ask for your biography, Windy, just Dr. Alberti thought Sheldon. Must be a salesman or in some similar profession that requires a high degree of personal interaction.

Conversations with strangers he found tedious and stressful but since winning the Nobel Prize he found himself very often chatting with many he did not know. A forced evolution of his social skills followed so he did not interrupt the man as he continued.

"Anyway, let me tell you enjoy every minute you can with them even when they're pains in the ass," Chandler rambled on. "You won't believe how quickly time flies. It seems like I just brought Jack and Erica home from the hospital yesterday but they're already in high school."

"Several parents have told me the same," Sheldon replied looking distracted.

"So, what's the deal with the knocking routine?" asked Chandler changing subjects.

"Knocking on a door is the accepted social convention," Sheldon replied.

"Yeah, but most people just knock a couple of times and yell out 'open up it's me' or something like that," responded Chandler.

"I knock once for courtesy and twice more to give whoever's on the other side time to get their pants on," he replied.

Chandler laughed then realized that the man was serious. "There's gotta be a story behind that."

Sheldon hesitated before visibly coming to a decision. "When I was young, I walked in on my father having coitus with a woman who was not my mother."

"Ouch," Chandler replied. "Be there, done that."

"You caught your father with another woman?" he asked.

"Ah, no, the pool boy," replied Chandler before quickly adding. "To be clear, the pool boy was a young man not a boy. I also once walked in on my parents while both were…engaged with another man."

"And you don't knock several times?" he asked incredulously.

"No," Chandler chuckled. "After what happened a couple of days ago Erica probably wishes I did. Trust me, I do too."

"You disturbed her with a lover," he surmised.

Chandler laughed uncomfortably. "No, she was alone but there was some lovin' going on. In my defense, it wasn't her bedroom that I walked into. Seriously who would think to knock before going into the laundry room?"

A small grin graced Sheldon's face. There was a one in three chance that his soon to be born child was conceived in the laundry room, but he did not say so opting instead to nod in understanding. "If you will excuse me, I need to find Dr. Alberti."

"If I see her, I'll tell her that you're looking for her or since I don't know who you are, I'll tell her that she's being sought by the man in black," Chandler quipped.

"I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper," he called over his shoulder as he headed back to the elevators.

Frowning, Chandler closed the door. Why did that name sound familiar? He put on his jacket as he walked into the bathroom to give himself the final inspection before heading to his third meeting of the day.

Sheldon Cooper? I know I've heard that name, he thought. Easy enough solution. Good old Google.

Minutes later he was on the phone to his wife. Google came through with a biography and some interesting current information.

"Hi, Monica," he said.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked.

"Oh, you know how these things are," He humorously replied. "Booze, drugs, hookers."

"Well, don't drink too much," she said. "Hangovers at your age last for days."

"I have to get to the meeting, but could you check to see the earliest flight to Chicago you can get Jack on," he replied.

"Sure. Why?"

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper, the Nobel Prize winner, will be giving a lecture at Northwestern University tomorrow at one o'clock," he told her. "The public is welcomed."

"Really?" Monica asked. "Jack practically has a man crush on him. Last year he went on and on about Super…whatever the hell it was that guy discovered."

"Super Asymmetry," Chandler supplied thanks to his recent online expedition.

"Yeah, that's right," she said. "Erica threatened to super asymmetry his ass if he didn't shut up about it."

"It's seems impossible for twins to be so different," Chandler mused.

"I know, right?"

"Do you think that Erica would like to come to Chicago, too?" he asked.

Monica throatily chuckled. "Hang out with Dad two days after he catches you buffing the bean? I don't think so."

"I hope she gets over it soon," he said blushing anew over the incident. "I hope I do, too."

She laughed again. "I told her that you were more embarrassed then she was."

"Yeah, well, it'll either become a funny story for her to tell or she'll forget about it entirely," he replied uncomfortably.

"I doubt that. I still get embarrassed when I remember Dad catching us in that hospital supply closet," she replied. "But she'll be 'Daddy's Little Girl' again in a few days and all will be right in the world. Anyway, I'll check on the flights and get back to you."

"Thanks, Mon. I love you."

He ended the call and sat the phone on the desk. Furrowing his brow in thought, he ran a hand over the wooden surface. Suddenly he rapped a knuckle on it three times in rapid succession.

"Dude might be on to something," he muttered as he rose to his feet.


End file.
